Peacock Humor Pen

15th Century facts
 

Some facts about life in Merrie Olde Englande.

Most people got married in because they took their yearly bath in and were still smelling pretty good by .  However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.
 

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.  Last of all the babies.  By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it, hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." 
 

Houses had thatched roofs thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath.  It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the pets dogs, cats and other small animals: mice, rats, bugs - lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof, hence
the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That
is how canopy beds came into existence.
 

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor."  The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet. So they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their footing.  As the winter wore on they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside.  A piece of wood was placed in the entryway, hence a "thresh hold."

They cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They mostly ate vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner  leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that
had been in there for quite a while, hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It Was a sign of wealth and that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and  "chew the fat." 
 

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400
years or so tomatoes were considered poisonous.
 

Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece of wood, with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms got into the wood.  After eating off worn trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."
 

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of The loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and
drink and wait and see if they would wake up, hence the custom of holding a "wake."  England is old and small and they started running out of places to bury people.
So, they would dig up coffins and would take their bones to a house and re-use the grave. When reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realised they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on their wrist and lead it through the coffin and up through the
ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell, thus, someone could be "saved by the bell," or was considered a "dead ringer."

Thank you to a special friend of TMI's who
sent us this clever piece of historical humor.
 
 
 
 
 
 

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