TMI US: TMI US: Peacock Humor Garden

Peacock Humor Pen

Subject: Actual Answers to Sixth Grade History tests

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out:"Tee hee, Brutus."

11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.

13. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

14. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

15. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

TMI US Staff

Previous "Peacock Humor Garden" pages:

    #1 A Day at the Bar,I

    #2 Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

    #3 A Day at the Bar, II

    #4 Thoughts on Love from Children

    #5 Cows and Economics Systems

    #6 Some Really Good Puns

    #7 Real Life Dilbertisms

    #8 "Original" Endings

    #9 Appropriate Signs

#10 Actual Newspaper Headlines

#11 More Actual Newspaper Headlines

#12 Modern Computer Viruses--Updated

#13 What To Do with Dead Horses

#14 Some More Actual Headlines

#15 Corporate Life Too Long When...

#16 Sage Advice from Children, Ages 7-16

#17 Haiku Error Messages

#18 How to Write Good

#19 T-Shirt Sightings

#20 Definitions

#21 Two Clean Jokes

#22 If You Think You Are Having a Bad Day

#23 Thoughts on Love from Children

#24 Real Resume Bloopers

#25 In-class Assignment

#26 Patients' Charts

#27 Martha Stewart's Christmas Letter

#28 More Actual Patients' Charts

#29 Thoughts to Ponder

#30 More Thoughts to Ponder

#31 Humorous Definitions

#32 Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed to Travel

#33 Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed to Travel, Part II

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