How did a fool and his money GET together?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
   
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?
 

(THIS WAS SUBMITTED TO US WITH THE NAME HERB GARDNER. THANK YOU, HERB FOR SHARING THIS LAUGH WITH US.)

Best wishes in the New Year!

TMI US Staff
 
 
 
 

Previous "Peacock Humor Garden" pages: 
 

#1	A Day at the Bar,I
#2	Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
#3	A Day at the Bar, II
#4	Thoughts on Love from Children
#5	Cows and Economics Systems
#6	Some Really Good Puns
#7	Real Life Dilbertisms
#8	"Original" Endings
#9	Appropriate Signs
#10	Actual Newspaper Headlines
#11	More Actual Newspaper Headlines
#12	Modern Computer Viruses--Updated
#13	What To Do with Dead Horses
#14	Some More Actual Headlines
#15	Corporate Life Too Long When...
#16	Sage Advice from Children, Ages 7-16
#17	Haiku Error Messages
#18	How to Write Good
#19	T-Shirt Sightings
#20	Definitions
#21	Two Clean Jokes
#22	If You Think You Are Having a Bad Day
#23	Thoughts on Love from Children
#24	Real Resume Bloopers
#25	In-class Assignment
#26	Patients' Charts
#27	Martha Stewart's Christmas Letter
#28	More Actual Patients' Charts
#29	Thoughts to Ponder

 

Please join us in sharing your humor. Fax or e-mail suitable humor (CLEAN HUMOR ONLY, please!) for publication on the TMI, USA website, and we'll credit you for your submission. Let us know the source of this material if you didn't write it yourself. E-mailing or faxing information to us implies permission for TMI, USA to use the material in its website.

 

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