|
|
Two clean jokes
This month, you get a
couple of jokes. We are determined to keep them wholesome, and it's amazing
how many jokes we have to turn down to keep our Peacock in a clean pen!
There was a man named
Bubba, and Bubba knew EVERYONE in the wholeworld!!
Once when Bubba got
a new job, Bubba says to his new boss, "Boss, I know everyone in the whole
world!"
His boss doesn't believe
him, so he says, "No you do not know everyone in the whole world."
But Bubba says, "Yes,
I do!"
So Bubba's boss says
"Well, prove it!"
Then Bubba says "Pick
someone...and I know them!"
Well Bubba's boss thinks
for a minute and then comes up with a name.
"Tom Selleck!
I bet you don't know Tom Selleck!"
Bubba says "Tom Selleck!
Tom and I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!"
Bubba's boss says, "No,
you weren't!"
Bubba says "Yes, we
were!"
So they fly to Hollywood
and drive up to Tom Selleck's house. Bubba knocks on the door and
Tom Selleck answers and Bubba goes "Tom!"
And Tom goes "Bubba!"
And they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba's boss can't believe
it.
But then he thinks,
"Well, that could happen. It's just one person," so he tells Bubba.
Bubba says "OK, pick
somebody else!"
This time Bubba's boss
has someone in mind! "The president, Bill Clinton! You don't know President
Bill Clinton!"
Bubba says "Oh yes I
do! Bill and I were on debate team together in college!"
Bubba's boss says, "No,
you weren't!"
Bubba says "Yes, we
were!"
So they fly to Washington
and they catch up with the President at a press conference. They
work their way through the crowd until Bubba gets close enough to catch
Clinton's eye and waves "Bill!"
The President waves
"Bubba!" and after the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes
and Bubba's boss is stunned -- he can't believe it.
Then he thinks "Well,
that's just two people in one country --that doesn't mean he knows everyone
in the whole world!"
So he tells Bubba and
Bubba says "OK, pick someone out of the world spectrum and I know
them!"
Bubba's boss knows just
who to pick so he says "The Pope! You do not know the Pope!"
Bubba says "The Pope!
The Pope BAPTIZED me!"
Bubba's boss says "No,
he didn't!"
Bubba says "Yes, he
did!" so they fly to Rome where the Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds
of thousands of people. They work their way through the crowd --
without much luck-- so Bubba says "Boss, we're never gonna get there together
through all these people. So I'll tell you what -- I'll work my way
up there and when I do, I'll give you a sign that shows you I know the
Pope!" and he leaves.
Well, Bubba's boss waits
and waits and waits and just when he's about to give up, he sees the Pope
come out onto the balcony and right there beside him is Bubba. Shortly
afterwards, Bubba's boss passes out.
Bubba comes back and
finds his boss passed out and he fans him and says "Boss! Boss! Wake up!"
When his boss comes to, he asks "Boss ...what happened?"
Bubba's boss looks at
Bubba and says "OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see Bill Clinton...
heck, I can even take the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks,
'Who's that up there with Bubba?' That's a little more than I can
take!
And here's one more,
and we hope no one is offended by a nun joke:
There were 3 nuns on
a train and they had been talking for some time when they decided to pass
the time by telling each other what their greatest sins were.
The first nun got up
and said, "My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and become
a prostitute. Of course I put all the money I
earn in the poor box,
but that is my greatest sin."
The second nun got up
and said, "My greatest sin is drinking. Every year I take the money out
of the poor box and drink for one consecutive week."
The third nun was sitting
there being very quiet. The other nuns say "Come now, we told you our worst
sins, what is yours?"
The third nun got up
and said, "My greatest sin is that I am a gossip and I can't wait to get
off this train."
Previous "Peacock Humor Garden" pages:
| Please join us in sharing your
humor. Fax or e-mail suitable humor
(CLEAN HUMOR ONLY, please!) for publication on the TMI, USA website, and
we'll credit you for your submission. Let us know the source of this material
if you didn't write it yourself. E-mailing or faxing information to us
implies permission for TMI, USA to use the material in its website. |
 
|
