You wonder when reading these Virus alerts if the people who invented them have nothing better to do with their time. But you have to admire the creativity. 

Paul Revere Virus warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\ 

Woody Allen Virus: bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card 

Tonya Harding Virus: turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons 

Ronald Reagan Virus: saves your data, but forgets where it's stored 

AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. 

MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus 

Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism." 

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back 

Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine 

Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most importantpart of your computer 

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem 

Airline Virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore 

Freudian Virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard. Or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive 

PBS Virus: Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money

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