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Peacock Humor Pen Plant the Lettuce A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant it?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened: some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the
best time to plant the lettuce."
A Good Mystery A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, ''I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip.'' The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, ''Follow me.'' The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle. ''Thanks so much,'' says the theatergoer, ''This seat is perfect.'' He then hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks down at
the quarter, leans over and whispers, ''The butler did it in the parlor
with the candlestick.''
Janelle Barlow, President
Previous "Peacock Humor Garden" pages:
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