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The Arbinger Institute, Leadership
and Self-Deception, Getting Out of the Box
This is a fascinating book about self-deception and how it traps us so that we are unable to see how to rid ourselves of it. Simply put, this is a book about self-awareness, and how lack of it can put us inside a box of blame so that we simply cannot see any other reality other than the walls we have ourselves created. The authors (the Arbinger Institute) start with an analogy of a small infant learning to crawl. When the child gets caught beneath some furniture, crawling backwards as infants typically begin to crawl, it thrashes around, actually getting more stuck the harder it tries to escape. The child would describe its problem as the furniture, if it could talk. The authors write, "If this infant could talk, she would blame the furniture for her troubles. She, after all, is doing everything she can think of. The problem couldn't be hers. But of course, the problem is hers, even though she can't see it. While it's true she's doing everything she can think of, the problem is precisely that she can't see how she's the problem. Having the problem she has, nothing she can think of will be a solution." Lack of self-awareness, or self-deception as The Arbinger Institute describes, is at the heart of this problem. It is also at the heart of Emotional Intelligence. Leadership and Self-Deception is a simply written book about am an aspect emotional intelligence, taught in story form. The book has three characters. Bud's situation explains the "box" that anyone can easily get into; Kate as a narrator describes how we get into the box of self-deception, and Lou tells us how to get out of the box. So, what's the answer? It has to do with blame. It has to do with the human tendency to look outside ourselves for an explanation of what is happening to us. This is an illuminating book about
a simple, but complex subject. And it sheds light on how blame destroys
people, stops them from being productive, reduces their motivation, and
puts them in a box of self-deception. While some complain about all
the current new books that attempt to teach through analogy and metaphor,
it is very difficult to approach emotional intelligence topics any other
way. You'll enjoy this book and most likely learn something about yourself!
Janelle Barlow, President
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