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Phil Harkins, Powerful Conversations: How High Impact
Leaders Communicate.
One of the tools of leadership is communication, specifically the conversations every leader has with critical people. Phil Harkins, founder of Linkage, Inc., says that clear communication is not a natural skill, though definitely some people are better at it than other. At a minimum, people can learn how to communicate with greater power. Powerful Conversations is filled with practical "how to's," with the appendices summaries of all the tools discussed in the book. Harkins summarizes the essence of a powerful conversation: an advanced agenda, shared learning, and a strengthened relationship. The useful thing about this summary is that these three pieces apply not just to conversations with one person but in groups, such as in meetings or assemblies. They provide an easy guide for those who wish to reassess their communication styles. At the conclusion of a conversation, Harkins looks for three outputs to qualify as a powerful conversation: everyone shared important feelings and made it clear as
to what these feelings, beliefs and wants were;
the hallmarks of a powerful conversation: Non-judgmental, no secret agendas, and freedom to express. Put in three simple words, powerful conversations happen when there is trust, openness, and acceptance. Unfortunately, a lot of people are afraid of openness, they don't trust or accept, or they don't believe these qualities will work positively for them in communication. As a result, many of us are frequently involved in less than powerful conversations. Phil Harkins doesn't balk about the issue of difficult topics, topics that can cause embarrassment. Most of us want to avoid embarrassment, or any other strong emotion for that matter, and we tend to hide our feelings. Our belief is that somehow it is better to deny the strong emotion than deal with it. That's the equivalent of saying if we deny weather conditions somehow they won't impact us. It's always better to deal with what is going on in a conversation rather than try to cover it up, and this is clearly Harkins message. Even if the feelings are negative, it's better to deal with reality than to attempt to cover it up or pretend something else is happening. This is a book worth reading, even if you find some of Harkins models labeled as if he were a motivational speaker (the Tower of Power, for example). The messages are easy, accessible, and model the points that Harkins is making in the book. Janelle Barlow, President
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