The Power of Nice—How to Negotiate So Everyone Wins, Especially You! 
by Ron Shapiro and Mark Jankowski with James Dale. 
John Wiley & Sons, October 1998.

This book reads like a magazine article, so it's definitely easy to get through. It presents quite a different style of communication from the book we reviewed last month, Jay Conger's, Winning 'Em Over.

Shapiro does make the point that to practice the power of nice, you have to change your attitudes about negotiation. It's not about war. You can do a win-win style of negotiation, but it has to be Win-win, which means that one party is going to get more, even if both sides are content with the outcome. And naturally, he wants his side to be the biggest winner.

Shapiro certainly speaks from experience. He's an agent and represents baseball star Cal Ripken, Jr., and Olympic gymnast Kerri Strug among others. But he let a big fish get away with Oprah Winfrey. Shapiro was the agent who helped Oprah get started in her career. He lost her to another agent, and then sued her for back commissions. He learned something from this about the power of nice: "Don't negotiate as if you'll never again do business with the person across the table. More leases are renewed than written from scratch. More shipments go to old customers than new ones."

He would certainly accept some of Conger's ideas about listening. He says that the best to get most of what you want is to help the other side get some of what it wants. This is what he calls WIN-win. One side wins bigger. "It's not WIN-lose, or Win-ransack-and-pillage. You don't have to destroy the other side. In fact, you want them to survive, even thrive, to make sure the deal lasts and leads to more deals." The Power of Nice clearly states that win-win is unrealistic, that it's a cliche.

Here's what the book recommends:

 
 • Identify what you really need from the deal.
 • Rank your needs in descending order of importance. Be willing to give up goals from the bottom of the list up.
 • Do the same exercise for the other side. You need someone else to help you with this.
 • Then determine how yours and the other side's interests conflict or mesh with your interests. Find areas of mutual benefit.

If you do this, The Power of Nice says, "Now you have the advantage. You understand both sides' needs and have created a response for any possibility. You can get most of what you want to helping the other side get some of what it wants. Instead of a one-time deal, this scenario can lead to a long-term relationship. Relationships pay dividends ad infinitum."

One of the things that makes this an enjoyable book to read is that Shapiro discusses real life deals he has negotiated, including Cal Ripkin's major contracts. He talks about the need to have stamina to live up to these kinds of negotiations. They can go on for months, even years, so patience is called for as well.

If you are a negotiator, this is the book for you. However, if you are looking for persuasion style of communication, then the previous month's book would be a better bet. You certainly wouldn't waste your time, however, if you decided to read both of them.

Janelle Barlow, President
TMI USA
 

Previous "Owl Book Review Grove" pages:
 

#1	Reichheld, The Loyalty Effect
#2	Bennis, An Invented Life
#3	Morrison, The Second Curve
#4	Foster, How to Get Ideas
#5	Bear, Send This Jerk the Bedbug Letter
#6	Hemphill, Taming the Paper Tiger
#7	Rifkin, Time Wars
#8	Pearce, Leading Out Loud
#9	Kao, Jamming
#10	Tannen, The Argument Culture
#11	Nancy, More Letters From a Nut
#12	Anders, Health Against Wealth
#13	Yates, The Critical Path
#14	Langdon, The New Language of Work
#15	Needleman, Time and the Soul
#16	Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence
#17	Conger, Winning 'Em Over

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